Video game jokes. We promise you that not a single one of them is funny in any sense of the word. They’re awkward. They sound terrible out loud. They’re banned in every single social situation possible because of the terrible silence that follows. Whisper one quietly to a friend and you will be ostracised from your group – no exceptions.
As you can probably tell from the venom of our opening paragraph, this started when we innocently came across some video game jokes online. We shook our heads in disbelief at how truly awful they were. What’s even worse is that there are actually more than 50 of them out there, probably all dreamt up by spoiled 8-year-old kids trying to be funny in the playground.
So here they are, you lucky, lucky people. We’ve found the 50 worst video game jokes around – please, we only found them and take no responsibility for creating these abominations. Don’t shoot the messenger, guys…
How do you get Pikachu on a bus?
You poke-em-on!
Why didn’t the Boomer come out to play with all of the other infected?
Because he had a stomach upset.
What’s Samus’ favorite food?
Metroid Prime Rib.
You’re so bad at RPGs, when somebody asks you where you’re stuck, you say, “The file select screen.”
Where did Mario buy his lunch?
Mario Mart.
You’re so bad at Stack Up, you made ROB strangle you.
What does Solid Snake say when he drinks beer out of a rusty keg?
“Metal…beer?”
Who is the cleanliest Street Fighter?
Dudley, because he always takes out the gutter trash.
You’re so bad at World Class Track Meet that by the time you finish the race, the turtle has reached the end of the stadium!
How did Snake save on car insurance?
By switching to Gekko!
You’re so bad at Virtua Fighter that you can’t beat your initials.
What happens to Chimeran infected automobiles?
They turn into Hybrids!
What’s the difference between Call of Duty: Black Ops and a restaurant?
A restaurant usually has a good host and servers that work.
You know you’ve been playing Halo too much, when the weatherman announces flood risks and you get out a shotgun.
What is Link’s favourite animal?
Gazelda
You know you’ve played to much Call Of Duty when you think the UPS guy is trying to plant a C4 on your doorstep
Why does Donkey Kong eat bananas?
Because he finds them a-peeling!
You’re so bad at Tetris, on two-player mode a guy can beat you with a controller that has broken left and right buttons.
Why does Donkey Kong always brush his teeth?
To prevent tooth DK.
Link was trying to open a heavy door when Navi told him, “Triforce.”
Why did Dante not cut onions?
Because he was afraid the Devils May Cry.
You’re so bad at Contra, that after playing it with 30 lives and using all of the continues, you didn’t know that the game scrolled.
Where did Noble Six go for a vacation?
Halo beach.
Where did Captain Price buy his car?
Modern car fair.
You’re so bad at Bomberman 64 that you can’t find the knight suit!
What is the Helghast’s favourite lunch?
KalZones.
What does a gorilla wear to the beach?
Donkey thong.
What is Chell’s favorite cereal?
Glad O’s.
What did Shang Tsung say to the Aztec witchdoctor?
Your soul is Mayan.
What do you get when you cross Epona with a DeLorian?
A Link to the past.
What do you get when you play whack-a-mole with Ganon and the Megaton Hammer?
A Ganon-dwarf
Why are Hylians so afraid of Teletubies?
Because they heard one of them was a poe!
Heard about the new Nintendo game? you play as a youth in Scotland and participate in fights. It’s called ‘Wii Bastard.’
What do you call a Nintendo Wii in France?
A Nintendo Yes.
What is a toilet’s favorite game?
Call of doodie.
What did the WWF Wrestler say to the video game controller?
Are you ready to rumble pack?!
What’s a Street Fighter’s favorite dessert?
Abel Pie.
What’s a Street Fighter’s favorite car?
A ’91 Honda.
Why can Guile never reach his full potential?
He’s always holding back.
What do you get if you tape a stick of dynamite to a hedgehog?
SONIC BOOM!
What type of pants does Mario wear?
Denim, Denim, Denim!
You’re so bad at Castlevania Adventure that you say you need a slow-motion controller to play it well.
What did Link use to win the basketball game?
His hookshot.
What’s Ryo Hazuki’s favorite drink?
Hi-C.
What is sonic the hedgehog’s favourite season?
Spring.
What was Bomberman arrested for?
Indecent Explosure.
Why did the Chocobo cross the ocean?
To get to the other side.
What football team does Epona support?
Spurs.
How did Sagat cure Ryu from the measles?
By giving him a Tiger Shot.
Why did Ash get arrested?
Because while you were in the bathroom he Pikachu.
