***MASSIVE SPOILERS BELOW!!***
Arkham Asylum and Arkham City. Two of the best-selling games over the last few years, starring the world’s greatest detective, trained to the absolute limits of physical human perfection.
But both games also have us worrying for the Dark Knight. We’ve suffered from mania (it’s no fun kids, trust us), and we can see the signs. There are ticks that Batman displays which developers Rocksteady may have included to show the ‘more vulnerable side’ of Bruce Wayne behind the mask. Not so – instead they confirm to us that Bruce is bipolar, popping pills and that poor old Alfred must be having an absolute whale of a time looking after him…
Batman’s conversation with Talia
This Top 5 was sparked from a conversation Batman has with Talia Al Ghul in Arkham City. Batman has to participate in The Demon Trials against Ra’s Al Ghul to prolong his life for a few more hours. Walking with Talia toward the challenge, she says:
Talia: “When the blood of The Demon takes hold, you will be on your own.”
Batman: “Like always…”
Such an unnecessary thing to say in such a serious situation, but Batman’s loneliness is obviously crippling, overwhelming. It may sound self-pitying, but Bruce WANTS Talia to know how lonely he is, to comfort him and tell him he doesn’t need to dress up like a bat and climb down industrial chimney pipes for a living. That when he goes home, he sits in a big empty house, counting his money and listening to Alfred go on about how frequent his stools are.
Getting over the death of his parents
Bruce Wayne hangs on to negative things that have happened in his past. Though the silver lining for the death of his parents was the birth of Batman, it was more of a silver lining for the residents of Gotham. Batman broods in the shadows, constantly overthinking his parents’ slaughter. It’s most obvious in Arkham Asylum, where Scarecrow’s serum brings his hidden memories to the forefront of his mind time and again. They also make a cameo in Arkham City – again, before The Demon Trials. Bruce can’t get over it, replaying events in his mind to the point that it overtakes his entire life. The big gay.
Reckless disregard for his safety
It’s like suicide is a constant thought for Batman. When scolded by Alfred for calling in the Grapnel Boost after the AR missions in Arkham City, because the equipment still hasn’t been field tested and is in the prototype stage, Batman casually replies “I’m ready.” Confidence is one thing, but situations like this show a clear disregard for Batman’s own safety. There’s no guarantee that the risks he takes will pay off, which lead us to believe that Bruce Wayne’s suicidal tendencies are spilling over to his Batman persona. Fine, Batman, jump off a helicopter. No skin off our nose.
Joker’s his confidant
One voicemail to Batman sees Joker telling Batman that ‘he’s the only one he can really talk to’. If true, then maybe that’s the reason Batman is loath to kill The Joker off. Depression is such a singular, insular disease that it can be impossible for others to understand if they’ve never been through it. Joker’s mania might just be the best counterbalance for Batman. Maybe he calls Joker late at night, and they both discuss their problems, hoping to find an answer somewhere. Or maybe he finds solace logging onto YouJizz and wanking his brains out.
He’s terrible with splits
He’s a strong, handsome billionaire with a heart of solid gold, perfect moral ethics and is as hard as nails. So why isn’t he hanging out the back of a Grade-A splitarse?
Batman doesn’t seem to have any luck with the tarts. And it’s not like he’s short of offers, either. Catwoman drips all over him and could evidently suck a football out of a hosepipe. Poison Ivy would blates go for a pair of Arabian Goggles, and Talia seems to be the one true love of Batman’s life. Yet all he does is push them all away. It’s deeper than him being a commitment-phobe. Batman is so incredibly lonely that he doesn’t believe anyone will ever understand him, no matter what he does or how hard he tries.
So, for as long as they both shall live, the best Batman can ever hope for is a good ol’ gumming from Alfred.